He'd be fired at the end of this season...
Okay, that's the "quick and dirty" answer. Let me start by saying that this isn't terribly scientific. It's not deep like my examination of the "Buffett Rule" (http://loudmouthelephant.blogspot.com/2012/03/tax-rich-obama-class-warfarecampaign.html), or my rebuttal of the myth that teachers pay greater tax rates than Mitt Romney (http://loudmouthelephant.blogspot.com/2012/01/stopping-lefts-propaganda-with-truth.html), but instead it's a near-satirical, wholeheartedly relatable discussion involving the upcoming election (something we're all starting to hate), and football (something many of us love).
So, what if Barack Obama was the head coach of a football team? Since he currently lives in Washington DC, I would say that he is the coach of the Washington Redskins, but I want to stay away from smearing my wife's favorite team :). Instead, for this discussion, he is the head coach of the Washington, um... Governmentals? I've already stated that this isn't scientific, but I'm not obtuse, and I realize that our government is not a football team. The players and the fans don't elect the coach, for example. If the government does poorly, it can't simply relocate to another city. But all that aside, theories on work performance and personnel evaluation hold true. I move on...
The first step in determining if we should resign our coach to a four-year contract would obviously be answering the question, "how did he do?" Well, I think that for every season, as the coach of the Washington Governmentals, Barack Obama's record has been 4-12. In the NFL, he would certainly be let go. But how did I arrive at 4-12? For starters, I think it would be disingenuous to say he went 0-16. He did do some positive things (we can debate the cause and effect of these at another time), but under his watch, most of the improvements we as a country have observed have been minuscule at best. For example, President Obama touts the "creation of 4 million jobs" or "27 straight months of private sector job growth." This is where the "4" in "4-12" really comes in to play. Sure, we've seen 27 straight months of private sector job growth, but wouldn't one net new job be "job growth?" Sure, 4 million jobs have been created, and the unemployment rate has fallen from its peak of about 10%, but has it fallen quickly enough? Have we seen the returns in the employment situation that our head coach promised? Did the stimulus bring us below 7% unemployment by the end of 2010 as we were told it would? As I've said, all of these minor and under-performing "wins" are the "4" in "4-12." Barack Obama is the coach at the post game press conference telling the reporters that though we didn't make the playoffs this season, we won still 4 games... 4 years in a row.
How is this relevant? The head coach of a football team usually comes in with specific goals. Okay, fine... no new coach says, "we are going to win the Super Bowl in my first year." I cede that. But Obama didn't say that. He did give specific goals, however. Yes, coaching is a difficult job, and coaches are given a leash. But Obama's leash, for the most part, was self imposed. For NFL coaches, the leash is about four years in length, and for Barack Obama, it should be the same.
Now what about all the excuses Obama has made during his tenure? Let's start with the classic, "I inherited this mess" excuse. Sure, Obama hasn't said that verbatim, but you'd have to live under a rock to realize he and the liberal media play this card quite often. My response: have you ever seen a head coach claim, "well, the previous coach really messed this up?" No. A good coach and a good leader takes responsibility on his shoulders. He admits things like, "I didn't improve the team like I thought I would," or, "I'm the coach, and I'm running the show, and it's my fault we haven't improved like I had hoped. No, I didn't cause the history of losses, but I did promise to change our losing ways, and with regards to that, I've come up short." Countries, like football teams, can be hard to turn around. But a coach comes in to win. It's that simple. If a coach doesn't, regardless of the last guy's performance, if the new coach isn't winning, he's failing. Not a single coach looks back at their predecessor and blames his current shortcomings on the last guy.
What about all the blame Obama places on the Congress? Well, do you often hear a coach say, "it's not my fault; the offensive coordinator keeps messing up." I'm going to guess and say this never happens. The president should be working with his team (since he promised to unify the government), and unfortunately, it seems that all he does is try to absolve himself of his failures to fulfill the promises on which he got elected.
Don't forget the new blame target: Europe. Sheesh, now he is even getting into preemptive excuses. Check it out: http://politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com/2012/06/08/obama-europe-turmoil-threatens-u-s-economy/. It's almost as if he is saying halfway through the fourth season, "okay, we have started 2-6... so when we finish 4-12 again, well, don't say I didn't tell you that we would play some tough games."
What about some of his minor accomplishments? He claims that without the stimulus, the economy would have dipped into a full-blown depression. That's an interesting one. I'm not so sure we have realized a proper reward for that investment. The stimulus, a massive government spending project, was a major boondoggle. Sure, again, we got some small victories out of it, but it appears the president has mortgaged off the future and traded away our draft picks for the sake of some minor wins in this season. Is this what it's about? Lots of debt now for a few extra jobs?
And the auto bailouts? That's simple. His solution: ignore all business sense and bankruptcy laws to give ownership to the players and some foreign nationals.
Don't forget about Solyndra, either. That's like buying lead cleats for the players. A lot of money was spent, no one got anywhere, and it pretty much ruined the way we look at spending. And the recent leaks? I think there is a comparison to the New Orleans Saint's "bountygate" somewhere. Of course, a lot of this is satirical, but it's a fun way to look at the President's performance.
I know it sounds like a simple rant, but no matter how many times the President misplaces blame, or how many "evolutions" he undergoes, there is one thing that stands out: his record. Simply put: it's bad. He said if he didn't turn the economy around in three years, he would be a one term president. The results are simply not there. He doesn't deserve another term. And quite frankly, Mr. President, I wish being a one-term president was the one promise you planned on sticking to.
What do you think? What win/loss record would you give the President? What analogies would you make to pro sports?